Internal Family Systems model

One of the most common questions we get is some form of “who is my target audience?”

To answer that requires some unlearning …

Your ideal audience is not a “target”. They are the people looking for you.

Your ideal audience is not their demographic data.

Your ideal audience isn’t divided up into B2B or B2C.

So who are they? Who are these mysterious humans whose hands you are putting the future of your brand?

To answer this question requires some foundational understanding of the psychological concept of the Core Self. The concept of Core Self has Jungian roots that have evolved into what is often called “parts theory” or “internal family systems”. There is a growing understanding that there is a Core Self but it is surrounded by parts – commonly categorized into three types:

  • Exiles – the part assigned to disassociate the Core Self from intense trauma or pain.
  • Managers – the part that creates systems of security and safety.
  • Firefighters – the part that demands attention.

Each of these parts has a unique role in protecting the Core Self – especially for trauma survivors. Fueled by dopamine and/or serotonin, these parts construct a new reality made up of personalities, biases, preferences, narratives. Further, these parts are activated by inputs or prompts.

Like advertising.

Largely influenced by Freud’s nephew, Edward Bernays, marketers have spent billions of dollars marketing to the illusory realities that people have manufactured in their minds. They use FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) to manipulate the Exile parts. They use the promise of safety and security to coerce the Manager parts. They use urgency to coopt the Firefighter parts. Marketers do an excellent job of understanding these elements of their audiences.

And that’s the issue. Considering most of these parts were constructed as a response to trauma, to utilize them for your own gain is inhumane and cruel. It is the essence of gaslighting someone.

So how does an ethical marketer approach an audience?

By communicating with the audience’s Core Selves. 

The Core Self is identified by 8 traits:

  1. Curiosity
  2. Creativity
  3. Confidence
  4. Calm
  5. Compassionate
  6. Courage
  7. Clarity
  8. Connectedness

When you understand these areas, you understand your audience. And when you understand your audience, it will change the way you communicate with them.

You will use storytelling and mystery and positive tension to awaken curiosity.

You will co-create with them to make beautiful things together.

You will remind them of their worth and importance.

You will not use urgent, loud language.

You will see them as a whole human – not just a customer or an employee.

You will tell them the truth.

You will understand their vision for their future.

You will connect with them and an oxytocin-based bond of trust will be formed.

And you will not compromise any of these eight traits in yourself or your brand. You will integrate these traits into your behavior as a leader, your culture, your offerings, your human experiences.

You will be in a reciprocal relationship with all the humans that touch your brand. This will produce a force multiplier of ideation, improvement, expansion fueled by mutual love and respect.

This isn’t easy. There are no shortcuts. It’s why we call this deep work “Intrinsic Branding”. You have to go inward to who you are as a person or a brand. You have to know your mission, your standards, your vision. And then you must do the same with your audience. This kind of hard work requires patience, consistency, inquiry, listening. But when you do it, you create unbreakable bonds of love, trust and loyalty.

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